


To Love & Be Loved

by L_Durven



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:54:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24789586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Durven/pseuds/L_Durven
Summary: Yennefer has always been all about self-indulgence, where Tissaia de Vries has spent centuries cultivating self-control and a respectable image. For two people who walk very different paths, they seem to have a hard time sticking to them when it comes to each other.
Relationships: Tissaia de Vries/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, tissaia - Relationship
Comments: 37
Kudos: 208





	1. Chapter 1

**Author’s Note:** It’s been at least a couple of years since I’ve written anything, but after watching the Witcher I somehow stumbled on Tissaia x Yennefer and was very “hmm, yes, so this IS a thing? I’m _intrigued_.” Read a few and now I’m all: "Make room for one more! I’m getting on this bandwagon!" Love it, haha. This was _supposed_ to be a nice little story with a little bit of smut, but my intended ratios MAY have gotten severely mixed up somewhere along the way. I have Chapter 2 & 3 just about finished, with it likely wrapping up following that (post-Hodden). My goal is to have this story complete by the end of the weekend. Let me know what you guys think though after you're done reading! Always much appreciated.

 **Rating:** Definitely explicit. I don’t think I’ve wrote explicit since NC-17 was cut out of my original posting platform, because I could never decide if it was just being merged into M, or they wanted us all to clean up our dirty mouths. Also quite a bit of swearing here and there. Nothing like a couple f-bombs in the bedroom. Alright, alright, I'm done. Let's just go for it.

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

* * *

Tissaia de Vries was only half listening to her companions as she moved between social circles during the Aretuzan ball. Every so often, she would draw a reassuring hand along one of her ascended students in passing. Their nervousness was absolutely radiating off of them. Ah, but it couldn’t be helped, for they had spent so much time with only each other, and so little time in the company of men. Only Fringilla seemed somewhat confident, but the King did not seem to care for her, so the two were becoming more and more of a disaster as the night went on.

Tissaia’s thoughts soured as they turned to the only mage missing. _Idiot child_. She had allowed Yennefer to trust that boy. She had let her – even subtly encouraged her – to overshare with him. It had been _meant_ as a valuable lesson.

In the end, the Rectoress had gotten the lesson that she had wanted for Yennefer; however, everything had a price and sometimes the price was a bit more than bargained for. By the time that Tissaia realized that Yennefer was to lose Aedirn over it, it was too late. Even worse, was that the girl had missed initiation by her own volition. Everything she had worked for not only gone, but to add insult to injury, the enchanter would leave at first light. The moment the Chapter noticed that Yennefer was absent, the remainder of the herbs were packed up and disposed of. Artorius, who had made his fair share of snide remarks on Tissaia’s apparent favouritism, had left with a smug smile upon his lips. The Chapter had wanted her to swim with the eels from the start. Now? Well now it was over.

Yennefer would not – could not - become the sorceress that Tissaia had seen in her from the start. The Chapter would send her to Nilfgaard as she was. No matter how powerful the girl was, she was just that. A woman in this world with no traditional beauty to accompany her would be treated no better than a pig. And despite how they were treated, it was a mage’s duty to complete their tasks. It was an obligation that royalty was far too aware of. Nilfgaard was not known as a compassionate nation. Would it be the final nail in the coffin? _Likely_. Yennefer would wilt instead of bloom, and there was nothing Tissaia de Vries would or could do about it. Nothing acceptable.

Oh, but she had contemplated it all the way back to her chambers. She had replayed what-ifs over and over, and by the time she stormed through her door, she was angry. No. She was _furious_. A rage which she hadn’t felt for decades was burning in her gut and her ears were practically ringing. Frustrated, she had slammed her hands down upon her desk – hard. The pleasant sting of it was coupled with a wave of unbridled chaos and the satisfying sound of shattering glass. Preservatives, ingredients and shards poured off shelves like a waterfall. It had felt good, but the logical side of Tissaia had stood and stared at the unintended results of her tantrum for a very long time.

No. She would do nothing, she decided. Yennefer would go to Nilfgaard. Yennefer _had_ to go to Nilfgaard. If she stayed here, it would be the end of them both. Yennefer was not professor material, and she certainly was not suitable company.

Though they had _both_ tried to tame it, Yennefer had a terrible temper. Magic constantly and violently rippled beneath those tortured eyes, begging to be let out. Tissaia had spent years trying to teach her to shove all of it, along with her raw potential, into an illusory bottle. It was for her own good, especially if the Brotherhood’s watchful ever turned her way. As the girl grew, there was a calculating look that slowly but surely replaced the naivety that always seemed to get her feelings hurt. And though Tissaia had little use for Istredd beyond teaching Yennefer a lesson about trust, she admitted that the attention that he had bestowed upon her had shaped Yennefer with an air of confidence that was borderline seductive.

Tissaia could feel her cheeks warming at the thought, and again she began to feel that same torrent building up in her. Then suddenly it was gone. The room was still loud with music and chatting, but there was a familiar, prior-absent magic seeping into the room.

 _Yennefer_.

Their eyes met and everything around her seemed to come to a screeching halt. A flurry of emotions churned through her.

Relief. Fury. Pride. Something else she couldn’t explain. Jealousy perhaps? Longing? Peculiar.

Tissaia knew that many of the other mages had felt the same caress and were turning to seek out its source. Her brow furrowed and she tried to convey her dissatisfaction to the younger woman. As always, Yennefer acted as though she didn’t notice and began to descend the steps. Part of Tissaia wanted to turn and laugh in the Chapter’s face. Again, her voice of reason was screaming to at least attempt to stop this catastrophe.

This was dangerous. _She_ was dangerous. When Yennefer finally smirked – so subtle and easy to miss - Tissaia’s feet began to move of their own accord towards the King of Aedirn and Fringilla. Yennefer’s eyes slid away from hers and onto her prize. Even when they met and Tissaia’s half-assed attempt to intervene tumbled from her lips, she knew it was already too late. The girl had already claimed her King. Absently, she passed a sullen Fringilla to her uncle and though Tissaia knew that she should join them and discuss how to “fix” this, she didn’t. She watched the ball for another hour, and when no further hiccups were to be had, she quietly bid her goodnights and well-wishes, then retired herself away from this exhausting ball.

* * *

“Well, what do you think?” The last voice she wanted to hear tonight was coming from the doorway of her classroom. Tissaia had not felt like returning to her chambers, and instead had retreated to her classroom to restock lost supplies. It had been meant as a form of meditation and retreat, yet here was the wolf stalking into her meadow.

“It clearly does not matter what I think, _piglet_.” Her hands never faltered from her task, but the reply came out a little more biting than she had meant. Tissaia felt like she was losing control. Of Yennefer? Of herself? She didn’t know, and she didn’t dare look at her. Maybe she would just go away. The girl was not initiated properly, but she sure as hell was no longer a student. There was no need for them to speak further.

“What can I do for you, Yennefer?” She finally asked, exasperated. “You have, like always, got exactly what you want in whatever way you deem appropriate.”

“Hmmm,” came an uncommitted reply. “I leave for Aedirn tomorrow. Fringilla will, once again, be leaving for Nilfgaard. I don’t understand how it became such a… _fuss_.” Yennefer had made her way to one of the shelves that had suffered Tissaia’s earlier outburst. Her fingers brushed against the wood there, until she leisurely pressed her finger into something and held it up. There was a rogue piece of a glass stuck to the tip and there was a long side look and a quirk of an eyebrow in Tissaia’s direction. As if she _knew_.

 _Put a stop to this_ , Tissaia’s voice of reason warned. Yennefer wouldn’t hurt her, no. Neither one would physically harm the other. She had been hard on Yennefer, borderline cruel, but Yennefer needed that to become the force of nature she would become – was already becoming. They were like… _like what_? Not family. She had never established a motherly bond with this discarded, deformed child. Because it had always been an undefined relationship… was this where she went wrong? Was this why she was in so much turmoil constantly with what she should do, and what she wanted to do? Had she laid the wrong boundaries? Yes, this was likely her own fault. She shut her eyes and wondered if she could just portal herself somewhere, anywhere. Anywhere that wasn’t here. 

She felt an audible sigh of annoyance escape her lips unbidden as Yennefer began to approach her. Tissaia turned on her heel and made to leave for the storage room, but she had taken too long to make that decision and the distance between them was already diminished. Cool fingers wrapped around her wrist and pulled her back.

 _Too close_ , the Rectoress thought weakly. And too close it continued to get, as Yennefer guided her backwards all the way until the edge of her desk dug almost painfully into her lower back. Tissaia was very aware of Yennefer’s body pressed up against her. Was very aware of her face merely inches away. Was very aware that she was simply perfect in every way. The more she leaned away, the closer Yennefer got.

“I saw it all over your face the moment I walked into that ball,” came the whisper, warm breath ghosting across her cheek. “And I can see it now.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I assure you whatever you think is-”

“You _hate_ it,” she cut Tissaia off. “You _hate_ that I never fit into that predictable little box that you love so much. I’ve always been able to irritate you far too easily. We both know it. And yet here we are, the Rectoress with all the power, and her infuriating student that could have been expelled or turned to an eel at any given time. But I wasn’t, was I?” Tissaia’s lips pursed. Yennefer was, indeed, correct. Her uncanny ability to rouse Tissaia’s ire had always been a sore spot between them.

“But tonight I finally figured it out.” The breath was against her neck now, lips barely brushing across her skin. Tissaia could feel goosebumps follow in their wake. _Push her away_ , that little voice continued, yet it seemed to drown beneath a thunderous roar in her ears. She found herself rooted in spot. “You actually _love_ it, but it’s not a safe feeling for you. You can’t control it, so you hate it. And the moment I walked in…” a shudder rippled through her body as Yennefer’s lips began to drag against her skin. “I wonder if I will ever see such an utterly possessive look in my life again.”

Tissaia didn’t respond with anything other than a sigh of pleasure as Yennefer finally stopped talking and instead, began to move her soft lips firmly against her neck. One of Yennefer’s arms curled around her, while the other hand came up and cupped her face. The younger sorceress crested over Tissaia’s chin and hovered against her mouth without actually kissing her. Her forehead felt cool against her. Part of her was still cursing this girl and trying to decide the most fitting punishment for overstepping. She actually _dared_ to lay hands on her.

Tissaia opened her eyes, resolute that after a proper glare, she would be able to push her away and stop this. Violet eyes met her own. Yennefer was not laughing. There wasn’t even a hint of a smile upon her lips. Her expression was void of anything, save her eyes.

They were confident – the same confident eyes that narrowed on Tissaia every time Yennefer _thought_ she was right. Chaos, like always, writhed in them - bottled and perilous. There was also a want in them. Something new, or perhaps just more apparent. The smallest hint of vulnerability went by so quickly that anyone else would have missed it. Spirits help anyone who thought to get in this girl’s way. Spirits help _her_.

She reached up and pushed back a lock of hair behind Yennefer’s ear – something she had done a hundred times before in a hundred circumstances nowhere close to this one. As her fingers tucked it away, they knit through the rest of her hair and before she knew it, it was her leaning into her protégé.

Everything in her being came roaring awake. Every time their mouths moved against each other, the kiss became more greedy and unrefined. It demanded more. It wanted _everything._

Tissaia was not sure the two could be pressed into each other any more than they already were, but it didn’t stop her from wanting it. Lightning surged through Tissaia, and everywhere that Yennefer’s lips went was the source. When it had finished its circuit through her entire being, it would pool between her thighs and emanate the most delightful humming sensation.

“We can’t do this,” Tissaia finally breathed against her mouth. She felt the other woman pause, and though she exhaled in a way that showed her frustration, she said absolutely nothing. Yennefer finally let her hand drop, but not without tracing down Tissaia’s front, curving along her side and resting along her thigh. It was as if Yennefer knew that if she waited just a little longer, that perhaps she would not need to argue her case at all. Perhaps Tissaia would argue it for her.

The Rectoress had sorely underestimated her.

Yennefer was simply holding her, the promise of unspeakable pleasure surging around them. It was one of the most exquisite delights that Tissaia had felt coursing through her body. They studied each other for what seemed like an eternity before Tissaia sighed and nestled her head into the crook of Yennefer’s neck. She smelled _enchanting_. She wanted this. She wanted everything this girl would give to her – repercussions be damned.

“We can’t do this _here_.”

And before either one of them could blink, Yennefer had already pulled them through a portal just outside of Tissaia’s chambers. Tissaia let go and approached the door to unlock the enchantments that kept everyone out. Even with her back turned, she could practically feel the hungry gaze raking over her body. On opening the door, she walked in. She realized that Yennefer was hesitating at the doorway. Not _entirely_ confident after all, then.

She didn’t dare acknowledge Yennefer, relishing in the temporary power she had over the situation. She heard the door latch close, but could tell that there had not been much movement other than that.

Tissaia smiled and pushed off her shoes. With a few twists, the burgundy dress dropped and pooled around her ankles. She stepped out of it and turned to the younger woman. It had not been _that long_ since last feeling the touch of another. Granted, her last few partners had been men who were simply a means to an end. Extra funding. Rare ingredients. Trivial things that were hard to get, but easy to bargain for with services. If you had an appealing body and the sense to use it – well, Yennefer would learn that way of world in the upcoming years.

“Well, what do you think?” A hint of mockery as she threw the question back at the girl. She took a few steps backward toward her bed and leaned against the foot. Though she was a shorter than the other woman – which wasn’t a surprise since Yennefer had been close to her height _with_ a curved spine – she could still tilt her head and narrow her eyes just enough to seemingly look down on her. The motion didn’t go unnoticed, and whatever hesitation Yennefer harboured dissipated under a sneer. Her own dress slipped to the ground and Tissaia didn’t hide her appraisal of the naked form before her. She would take a more thorough look later, however, for Yennefer had already closed the distance between them and pulled her close at the hips.

A hand roughly cupped her breast, and a sharp exhale escaped her as Yennefer dragged her nails across and expertly rolled a hardening bud between her thumb and pointer. Her other hand forced Tissaia’s head to the side and her teeth nipped and her lips suckled at tender curves in her neck.

There was no hesitation in her ministrations, leaving Tissaia impressed and thoughtful – as much as she could be. Though many of her students explored with one another, she knew Yennefer would not have been invited to partake in such things. Besides, even if she had been, she would have been too preoccupied with the boy anyway. She had seen the two together more than once. Despite being a hunchback, she had obviously been a quick study. The last time she had passed the two - for they had never been private lovers - Yennefer had been riding the boy with such controlled vigor that she had actually stopped to admire the young woman and muse over how much control she could wield over another human _without_ her chaos.

She let Yennefer lead, curious to how far this girl could go. With Istredd as her only lover, Tissaia could only presume that the delightful sparks of pleasure coursing through her body were from self-study. She imagined Yennefer laying down, fingers twisting along her own body. Imagined the fingers that would bring her to a silent scream in the middle of the night. She felt a blush creep up her neck and nestle into her cheeks, but she was beyond caring at this point.

Yennefer’s mouth was on her other breast, and a sharp nip caused her to half moan, half yelp.

“What the _hell_ is more important than the things I am about to do to you, Rectoress?” She drew a nipple back into her mouth and swirled her tongue around it to appease the throb.

“Mm, nothing. Though I am curious how adept you are when it comes to pleasuring a woman.”

“Oh, I have no doubt you will correct me if I misstep. Though there are things I may need direction in.” Her voice was far to sultry for someone who ‘may need direction’. Yennefer was already dropping down her body. She grabbed Tissaia’s legs and pushed them apart, and Tissaia could swear that she felt a vicious smile against her before it was replaced with a tongue dragging along a thigh and up along her folds. “Oh _my_ , it seems I may be just fine.”

An uncontrolled moan escaped her as waves of pleasure began to wash over her.

Every stroke of Yennefer’s tongue sent a quiver through her, and she knew that Yennefer could feel it too. The girl explored her entire length maybe a half dozen times before she had obviously honed-in on exactly which spots to hit, how hard and how fast. She revered the feeling as Yennefer’s fingers pushed into her, and began to move with her as the girl began a steady, matched pace with both her tongue and hand. It was gentle and rough all at the same time. It was exact. It was _fucking glorious_ , and Tissaia – always so reserved and in control – threw caution to the wind and let the mage between her legs drag out sounds of encouragement that she knew she had not made in a very long time.

She curled fingers from one of her hands within dark tresses. The strokes did not falter in consistency or speed, and every time that expert tongue ran over her clit, she felt her orgasm steadily grow. The woman between her legs could have let her peak ages ago, but every time she had come close Yennefer must have sensed it and had held back. It was equally delightful and frustrating. Every time that pleasure built up again it seemed to double. Tissaia wasn’t sure she could take much more teasing, and was sure that she was going to start begging, when Yennefer finally allowed her to tumble over the edge and crash into a blinding orgasm. She gripped the footboard so hard she thought it may crack.

* * *

Tissaia refused to open her eyes right away the next morning. Memories of the remainder of the night came flittering back. Yennefer’s head between her legs. The taste of herself on Yennefer’s mouth. Yennefer riding her fingers while Tissaia appreciated the rocking view on top of her. The way Yennefer would throw her head back. The way that she would move against her fingers and cup her own breasts during an orgasm. The way her thighs felt on each side of her face while they quivered from her climax.

Yennefer’s cries had been deep and breathy and extremely erotic. Tissaia almost moaned from the throb between her legs. She wasn’t entirely sure if it was arousal or soreness from the night before. Though she didn’t want the images of the things they had done last night to dissipate, she could feel that she wasn’t alone and forced her eyes open.

_Beautiful._

It had likely only been a couple of hours, but the sun was already peeking into the room. The younger girl’s face was gentle in the morning light and she moved to brush away an errant curl. She allowed her fingers to explore along Yennefer’s forehead and down her cheek. Yennefer stirred and turned her head into Tissaia’s palm, placing a kiss against it. They lay like that for a while longer until Yennefer woke and the two of them quietly watched the other, saying nothing.

“I could stay,” Yennefer finally offered.

“You have entered a contract with the King of Aedirn. You made sure of that last night. I have no desire to partake or try to deter a full-blown coup in the Brotherhood over your whims.” Tissaia schooled her features into a neutral expression. “Besides, I cannot have you teaching the students. I would have a group of renegade mages on my hands.”

“Could be fun.” A pause. “Oh, _please_. Tell me you wouldn’t love the chance to light Stregobor and Artorius on fire. Even better if your students do it for you, no?”

“ _Yennefer_.”

“I could _visit_ ,” came the soft whisper. Tissaia sighed and threw her legs over the bed. Dressing so that she had some sort of defense against Yennefer, she turned. She was not as against her suggestions as she would have the other girl believe, but this had to stop here and now or there really would be an uproar of unimaginable proportions.

“Yennefer, _stop_. You will find that you are far too busy to run a life at court and a life… _here_. This-” she waved to the bed. “Was not… _is not_ … do not make it more than it is. You need to prepare for Aedirn. You have a King that will be using your services – likely for more than just counsel.”

Yennefer had risen and was pulling on her own dress from last night. Even in a disheveled state the girl was stunning.

“Tissaia…“

“This will not continue. Whatever you _think_ you feel, bury it.” And without looking back, Tissaia turned on her heel and opened the door, motioning for Yennefer to exit. The girl stopped at the door and turned, exasperated, while Tissaia redid the enchantments.

“Tell me that you don’t care for me. That you feel _nothing_.” Her voice broke at the end, and Tissaia forced her neutral expression to remain. Yennefer made to touch her, but she deftly stepped out of reach. This _cannot_ happen, Tissaia kept telling herself.

“I care for all of my girls, you know that. You are no more special than they. If I knew you were going to make something of this, last night would have never happened. Remember your place. Good luck in Aedirn.”

And with that she pulled the final lock shut, turned down the hallway and left. She knew Yennefer was still standing at her door and could only imagine the expression on her face. She dared not look back. She dared not falter in her purposeful steps away. It took everything she had not to break into a run. When she turned the corner, she cast a portal and stepped in. Yes, she would run her errands away from Aretuza, so that Yennefer would not be able to find her. If she stayed and Yennefer persisted, Tissaia would not be able to reject the girl a second time. _That was precisely what the issue was._


	2. Chapter 2

**Author’s Note:** Ah, thank you for the feedback already. I posted Chapter 1 and had to go on a bit of a road trip, when I came back there was some really great feedback, so thanks! I got to work on finishing Chapter 2, so here it is. Chapter 3 won't be out until likely tomorrow night or Saturday as it wasn't as close to being done, but I will certainly do my best.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

* * *

She hadn’t seen Yennefer for decades, and it had been better that way. For years, she had found herself passing by the door of Yennefer’s old chambers. She remembered their conversations almost fondly, even the ones that had once made her blood boil. She yearned for her new students, heavens, even just one, to make her life as much of a living hell as Yennefer had. She had contemplated more than once on reaching out to the girl. But with what? An apology?

In the years that followed, no one talked back to her. Few struggled to complete a simple task, let alone struggled because they couldn’t wrangle their outstanding potential. No one tried to kill her during the lightning trials. It was absolutely infuriating that even after Yennefer’s departure, she was _still_ arguing with herself.

Tissaia had absolutely _ached_ for Yennefer. Far more and far longer than she ever should have.

Most mages, at least the ones that ascended because of their talent and not due to the depth of the familial coffers, all had skeletons. Like anything else in her life, she endured and did not stray. As a result, the more time that passed, the more her life returned to order and predictability. It had taken over thirty years, but finally – _finally_ – she was back in control. No outbursts. No ridiculous, stray thoughts. No restless nights. Essentially, no losing her mind. _Perfect_.

She was sure that the only thing that hindered her recovery for so long was Yennefer’s name being brought up in Chapter meetings. Of course, all her mages came up now and then. Yennefer had not stirred any pots _too_ badly – a feat that Tissaia wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed in. The Brotherhood even agreed that Yennefer had been far more successful than most of her peers when it came to making a name for herself, though they took great delight with Yennefer’s understanding that controlling a King’s ear was much easier when you also controlled his cock. It was no secret that the King of Aedirn would have waged any war of Yennefer’s choosing.

Whatever defense and disinterest Tissaia had cultivated over the years wavered when the news came in that Virfuril had Kalis and his newborn daughter murdered. That was _not_ the surprise, as everyone had been calling that for at least nine months. The assassin that he used, with a koshchey nonetheless, _clearly_ implied that Yennefer was requested to be on the unofficial body count list. For whatever reason, he was clearing his slate, and if he had succeeded, he would have been back on their doorstep asking for a new mage. The Brotherhood would have acquiesced as it only seemed to be a travesty if they were to kill one of their males. Yennefer disappeared and Virfuril ending up on the wrong side of a dagger shortly after could only make things worse.

Oh, the rumours escalated for a bit, and Tissaia had stayed silent through the whole proceeding. It had lasted three agonizing months. When the Chapter decided that Yennefer would not be punished for deserting Aedirn and _possibly_ killing a King, she had let out a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding. There was a lot of: “considering the circumstances” and “there’s no actual proof” and “King Demavend is not demanding retribution”.

_Thank goodness._

And more time passed without incident, decades even, until Yennefer’s name began to come up in more and more in proceedings. Yennefer burned down a tavern that refused to serve her. Yennefer cursed an unfaithful pig farmer to be caught with his pants down in his pen. Yennefer was selling quick-fixes for coin. Yennefer was looking for a cure for barrenness. Yennefer had taken over the Mayor of Rinde’s house and was conducting nightly orgies. Wait- _what?_

The Brotherhood was up in arms, and though Artorious was all for putting Yennefer into a dungeon cell to rot, many of the other mages thought it hilarious. After all, sorceresses fell under Tissaia’s reputation, not the Brotherhood’s. And Yennefer wasn’t breaking any law, just tarnishing their reputation. Unfortunately, it was becoming a very fine line very quickly, and their humour was the only thing keeping Yennefer out of real trouble. If they tired of her antics, the retribution would be swift and unavoidable. Enough was enough.

Tissaia had not been lying when she entered Rinde and told Yennefer that she was total chaos. She did not expect Yennefer’s stubbornness to subside at a simple request. She did not necessarily expect to get through to the girl. Truth be told, she didn’t quite know what to expect, and the more the conversation went on, the more she realized she hadn’t even come with a plan.

Yennefer did not look at her. _Would_ not look at her.

Oh, their eyes had a few times during their argument, but it was as though Yennefer was looking past her. She did not show any remorse or hesitation, just an irritation and impatience for Tissaia to leave. 

“How did we get this way?” Tissaia finally asked, exasperated. “I gave you all I could give, what more do you want?

 _Everything_ , she had said. And finally, _finally_ Yennefer had met Tissaia’s gaze. Whatever Tissaia had been looking for was _not_ this. That chaos, that _ache_ , that which had long been buried came rearing its ugly head. And she knew her face had crumpled at that point. Knew that every emotion had just lay itself out. When she was dismissed, she couldn’t leave fast enough.

_She’s not wrong. You did not give her all you had to give._

* * *

The next time they would meet would be back in Aretuza, quite a few years later. She had been irritated. Not ready to see her. Caught off guard at her reason for showing up now of all times. It didn’t help that Yennefer was just as angry and beautiful as she was last time. She came full of hatred for Aretuza, or maybe for Tissaia? She was a storm within her walls. When she caught her with three of her girls, recklessly confrontational, Tissaia could have breathed fire. They didn’t have time to finish their spat, however, as it was interrupted by the emergency conclave.

Though she felt the need to continue to address Yennefer, this was not the time. The upcoming war was an issue that Tissaia very sorely needed to address, and a stress that had been fraying at her patience for months. Though Yennefer stood in on the meeting and interjected with her own, unhelpful input on how she did not agree with anyone at all, Tissaia couldn’t help but notice she was not necessarily _against_ helping Cintra.

Though she never would have called on Yennefer for aid, Tissaia _wanted_ the younger sorceress to fight with them. The odds were not necessarily in their favour, and even though she was a bit unreliable and emotional, Yennefer’s strength could only help their cause. Of course, their interactions always turned to argument. Why was she constantly drawn to someone who created conflict? She had lived through countless of her girls dying. Countless mortal lives cut short. Friends. Family. She had moved on from those with little effort, so why could she just not wipe her hands of this girl who was very much alive and well, and be done?

Not getting through to her, as always, she clawed for something – anything.

“If you will not do it for the Brotherhood, then do it for me.” They shared a long look. “ _Please_.”

And there it was, the quirked eyebrow. A play on her lips that indicated that maybe, just maybe, Yennefer didn’t hate Tissaia as much as she thought.

“Have you ever used that word before?” Tissaia had pursed her lips then, and the tighter her expression became, the bigger the grin grew on Yennefer’s face. It was stunning and absolutely aggravating all in one.

“We leave in the morning. Do not be late.”

They had parted ways for the night then, something different, yet familiar hanging between them. Tissaia lay awake for hours, staring at the ceiling. But instead of losing sleep over the upcoming war, her thoughts were centered on a certain raven-haired sorceress, likely asleep just a few floors down.

 _Decades_. Decades of self-control undone, Tissaia realized. And here she was, fallen to the same spot she had been within the first few weeks after sending Yennefer away. Her breath hitched as she found her fingers brushing against her nightgown. Her fingers ran down her body, twisting at her nipples and splaying over her belly. Did she risk going down this road? A contented sigh escaped from her lips as her fingers slipped between her legs. She was already wet. _Of course she was_.

**_Even after all this time, I still want you._ **

**_Then you shouldn’t have sent me away in the first place._** Tissaia started in surprise, fingers stilling. She hadn’t meant to connect with her, and though an accident, if she had been paying mind she would have felt the familiar tug of telepathic engagement. Yennefer’s voice became sly. **_Rectoress, what are you doing at this ungodly hour?_**

 ** _Yennefer, go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to reach out to you_.** Tissaia sighed and started to move her fingers again, her desire overriding her embarrassment of being caught. She was almost positive that Yennefer knew exactly what she was doing. She could only imagine how her initial thought had been conveyed.

**_Are you wet, Tissaia?_ **

**_Stop it._ **

**_You aren’t as dismissing as you think. Tell me what you are doing. Tell me how you are fucking yourself right now so I can match it. I’m so damn close already. Should I keep rubbing my clit, or should I fuck myself and imagine it’s your fingers pumping in and out of me?_ **

Tissaia moaned, overwhelmed. She let it flow through their connection more as a feeling than anything with words.

**_Do you want me to keep going, Tissaia?_ **

**_Yes._ **

A pregnant pause.

**_Yes, what?_ **

The tone was gloating and Tissaia could have screamed. She could sense, almost feel, the other sorceress doing exact the same thing as she was, so what the hell did she want her to say? Then she remembered the look of satisfaction on Yennefer’s face earlier and with every ounce of longing she could muster, she conceded.

**_Please, Yennefer._ **

A wave of pleasure from the other end of the connection was almost enough to send Tissaia over the edge.

**_Get on your knees. I want you to put a finger inside that wet little pussy. Push it in as far as you can. Keep going. It’s not enough, is it? Remember how frustrating it is, because when we are done here, I am coming up there and I am going to fuck you so hard and deep that you won’t be able to walk right tomorrow._ **

Tissaia whimpered into her pillow and did as she was told. It had been a lifetime, but the memories of their last night together came crashing over her as if it was mere days ago. It came as no surprise that Yennefer had a filthy mouth, and Tissaia revelled in it. It was no wonder how this woman left a trail of heartaches behind her. Her fingers moved faster until she felt herself climbing. She slid her fingers out and up against her clit and with a cry, felt herself tumble over the edge. She wasn’t sure when Yennefer had stopped talking, but she could still feel the pulse of arousal between them.

**_I want you. Please. Please come up here now._ **

“Well, look at _you,_ ” came the soft voice as the girl stepped through the portal in right behind her moments later. “No. Don’t fucking move. Look at you spread out on your knees like this.” The bed dipped and Tissaia’s head drooped.

“Yennefer, don’t make me beg.”

“Oh, but hearing you say please is _so_ very delightful.” And suddenly there was a sharp sting against her ass, so close to her center that she wasn’t sure if she was angry or aroused over it. Pleasure radiated from the spot, and she felt herself push herself closer to the girl saddled up behind her.

“I brought some things with me.” Tissaia’s attention snapped back to focus as Yennefer pulled out a conjured scarf and bound her to her own headboard.

“What are you doing?”

“Relax. You won’t complain. _I promise_.” And suddenly Tissaia felt as though _she_ was the young woman being schooled. Who had she invited into her bed? This was not the normal tangle of limbs, the quick coupling of two people trying to get off, the obligatory fuck for mutual benefit. It was not unwelcome, just … different. For her. Obviously, Yennefer had a much broader education than anything that would normally happen within the stuffy walls of Aretuza.

And now this gorgeous fiend was ghosting all sorts of promises along her skin with a light brush against her side, a comb of fingers through her hair, a tongue along her hip. Arousal hit her in full force as she realized she would let Yennefer do just about _anything_ to her.

There was a shuffle and suddenly she felt something solid press against her opening. Her eyes went wide as she tried to crane back to look.

“Do you want me to stop?” And though she said that, she still rubbed whatever item she had along her, coating it in the remnants of her previous enjoyment. “Mmm, speak now if you do. You’re more than ready.” Tissaia’s breath hitched as she turned her head back and buried it between her arms.

Whatever Yennefer was wearing pressed into her and though she could have gone the rest of her life with just Yennefer’s tongue and fingers, the feeling of being so full was absolute bliss. Yennefer was moaning and thrusting and _spirits_. Her own orgasm was building again. She had invited a damn succubus into her chambers, she was sure of it.

And even as she muffled a cry of pleasure and writhed, Yennefer did not let up. Her orgasm had barely subsided and waves of pleasure were already rolling over her, building again and again until Tissaia was bucking, hard and uncontrolled, against Yennefer. She could barely form a coherent thought. Yennefer’s hand had snaked around and was pinching and massaging her clit, and suddenly she was riding a whole new wave.

**Stop. _STOP_.**

And Yennefer slowed herself until she stopped. Tissaia let out a strangled moan as she felt the phallic object leave her, and oh so carefully her restraints were removed and she was rolled over. Tissaia waved her hand almost limply and heard the window slip open. It was hot. Too hot. She was going to _die_.

And here was Yennefer looking down at her as if she was the only thing that mattered.

“Do you need me to leave?” Tissaia immediately shook her head no, grabbing for the girl before she took Tissaia’s lack of verbal response as a yes.

“I need a moment. I’m not accustomed to… _this_.” And with that Yennefer laughed. Not a degrading laugh, but a knowing one. They both were drenched in sweat.

“Rest. Perhaps you would not mind if I moved this to you?” Tissaia’s eyes widened as Yennefer removed the harness around her hips and situated it on Tissaia. She didn’t agree, but didn’t say no either, as Yennefer finished strapping it onto her, climbed over, and lowered herself on.

On her knees, she hadn’t had the pleasure of watching what Yennefer was doing to her. Now, she lay on her back, full view of the woman straddling her. Yennefer’s bottom lip was drawn in-between teeth and she began to move against the very object that had been in Tissaia just minutes before. The other end created a delightful friction. Not enough to cause another orgasm, which was good since she didn’t know if she could handle one right now, but enough to be part of Yennefer’s pleasure.

Tissaia’s hands gripped Yennefer’s thighs tightly, which caused the other woman to let out a breathy sigh. Her breasts moved with her, her hands pinching and pulling at erect nipples. One snaked down between her legs and rubbed her clit.

Soon, her movements became a bit more erratic, her thighs shook with exhaustion, and Tissaia grabbed her, rolling her onto her back.

Leaning over her, she moved her hips and Yennefer’s eyes were alight with appraisal.

 ** _How do you want me to fuck you, Yennefer?_** she breathed through their connection, unable to trust her voice. Images flashed through her mind and Tissaia took one of Yennefer’s legs and slung it over a shoulder and began to move. Watching her grab and scratch at her covers, throwing her head back and forth was pure bliss, but Tissaia needed to be closer. She wanted to feel the shudders of her orgasm and so she lowered Yennefer’s legs and leaned into her body.

Two legs wrapped around Tissaia’s waist so tight that she wondered if she had enough space to move. Nails raked down her back hard enough to leave marks. It was _perfect_.

“Look at me, Yennefer.” Violet eyes met her own blue ones, and she wasn’t sure what Yennefer saw, but whatever it was, her gaze softened.

“Tissaia-“ she breathed, and then she was gone. Head thrown back, a silent cry on her lips as her entire body bucked and shuddered against the older woman. Tissaia pressed her lips against Yennefer’s chest and sighed. They stayed like that until the tremors through Yennefer subsided.

Yennefer fumbled and released Tissaia of her temporary appendage before throwing it over the side of the bed along with the scarves. She blinked sleepily, yawned, and then shook her head as if she was surprised. Tissaia found herself smiling, maneuvered her way back so she was straddling her guest and peppered kisses along her shoulders and neck. She was exhausted as well, but wanted to glean whatever moments she could. Yennefer guided her so that their lips finally met and Tissaia felt herself swell with… _something_.

It was a gentle kiss, a _different_ one. That ache that Tissaia had felt for years was dissipating into something else. Something raw that made her want to hold the girl under her and never let go. She should have never let her go in the first place.

“Yennefer… will you come back to Aretuza after this?” Yennefer studied Tissaia’s face and frowned.

“As long as I’m not too busy leading my double life, I suppose.” She had offered once; had been denied. Over half a century, and the girl still held a grudge. Then again, time wasn’t quite the same when you didn’t age normally, and with mages, grudges could last _hundreds_ of years. She took a deep breath and cupped Yennefer’s face in her hands.

“I should never have sent you away. I’m sorry.” Another long look, but Yennefer’s annoyance subsided. She looked as though she wanted to say something more, but decided against it. Before either could decide what more there was to say, a long horn interrupted and the two of them let out a simultaneous groan. Two hours before march. They’d be asleep on their horses.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author’s Note:** As always, thanks for the reviews! So there was supposed to be an update last night, which I’m sorry for being late as I was trying to reread it but I was absolutely delirious-tired. The last chapter is almost done. Then again, last night I thought this was done and then this afternoon the whole tavern portion got added. So who knows, anymore, haha. Last and final chapter either tomorrow or the day after for sure, I think!

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

* * *

They had shared a bath and helped themselves to one of Tissaia’s concoctions to liven them up a bit. Though the trip was a bit drab; the nature of it helped mask their exhaustion as wariness. Vilgefortz had connected himself to Tissaia’s hip for a good duration of the trip so far. When she could, Tissaia had been stealing glances at Yennefer, and had felt pinpricks along the nape of her neck when the other sorceress did the same. It was early afternoon when violet eyes met her own, and Yennefer gave a very slight waggle of eyebrows. Tissaia shook her head. She wasn’t entirely quite sure what for, but she didn’t have time for - _for whatever Yennefer had on her mind_.

**_He would like to warm your bed, Rectoress._ **

**_Stop._ **

**_Has he already warmed your bed?_ **

**_Stop._ **

**_So, he has then. Once? Twice? Not enough clearly, or he would have been taking care of you last night. Ooo, was that why your wards were down?_ **

**_Yennefer, I am not discussing who I’ve slept with._ **

**_Hmmm, not my type but I could share now and then, you could ride him and I could-_ **

**_Stop._ **

**_Or he could just watch. Watch me lick-_ **

**_STOP, YENNEFER. Just stop. We’re not discussing this right now. No threesomes. No orgies._** Tissaia thought for a minute, furrowing her brow as she could practically see the wheels in Yennefer’s head turning.

**_That’s fine. I don’t particularly want to share you anyway. Would you watch me? You could sit there all prim and proper and I could sit on your desk in your botany class. Mmm, I could use one of your –_ **

**_I’ll make you a deal._ **

She knew it was a mistake as soon as it had slipped out, but she needed the younger sorceress to stop. Vilgefortz was telling her something important and she had missed literally all of it. Yennefer had her so flustered she wasn’t sure she could even lie if asked what, or who, had her attention.

**_Oh, I am all ears._ **

**_Let me have this conversation and do not disturb my thoughts again today, and-_ **

**_Yes?_ **

**_I’ll reward you._ **

**_Tell me how, or no deal._ **

**_When we stop for the night, we can share a tent perhaps._ **

**_Reward me with something we weren’t going to do._ **

**_Fine. I’ll watch you do extremely inappropriate things on my desk._ **

**_We might die in a few days. And you know I’m not good at waiting._ **

**_Must you be so fatalistic?_ **

**_Yes. Try again._ **

**_Let me get through this conversation and think._ **

**_Technically you could get what you asked for and then back out after._ **

**_Yennefer…_ **

**_Fine. And just so you know, my tent is fabulous and you'll never again want to sleep in one of those Brotherhood-issued rags._ **

Blissfully, Yennefer finally went back to brooding and wandering in and out of conversations between the other mages. Tissaia spent the rest of the afternoon in a much-needed discussion regarding the upcoming battle and what their plans were. Her thoughts were not interrupted for the remainder of the day; in fact, Yennefer barely spared her a glance. As soon as they reached the first town that they would stay at, there was a flurry of tent-pitching and prepping for the evening. Tissaia had allowed one of the younger apprentices to take care of her own tent, and dismissed herself to wander the town square.

**_Where are you? Are you going to meet us in the Tavern for dinner?_ **

**_I’m just down the road. Near the Tanner. Come find me._ **

Curious, Yennefer made her way down the main street. It was quieter than it had been earlier, as everything was already closed up for the day. The main traffic was their own people heading towards the tavern for dinner. She hadn't seen Tissaia where she thought she should have been, and almost yelped as a pair of hands grabbed her and pulled her back into a little alley. The kiss was sweet. Tentative.

“Tissaia,” came the teasing sing-song warning. “It’s only dusk. You realize someone could see us, right?” Tissaia rolled her eyes and pulled Yennefer closer.

“I know how hard it must be to be told you’re not allowed any more orgies,” she whispered teasingly against her lips. “You told me to pick something we wouldn’t normally do. Which I think is actually something _I_ wouldn’t normally do. I’m not entirely sure you have boundaries.” Yennefer’s smirk was in no way refuting. “Now. Don’t say another word, or I fear my rational side will put a stop to this.” With that, Tissaia collected her skirts and dropped to her knees. She then began to gather Yennefer’s dress into her hands enough for her to slip under. Yennefer’s eyes were so large it was a wonder they didn’t fall out, and once she was over the fleeting, initial shock, she immediately reached down to help. Tissaia drew herself closer and almost rolled her eyes when she realized that Yennefer wasn’t wearing any undergarments. Why wasn’t she surprised? Honestly, this girl.

Yennefer’s breath hitched in her throat. Tissaia wasn’t messing around. Tongue and fingers played at her nether regions and it felt so, _so_ good. So unexpected. She could hear people passing nearby and grinned. Oh, she had absolutely _corrupted_ the woman between her legs in the span of a single night. Tissaia hesitated every time there was the sound of a passerby too close for comfort. It was equally endearing and arousing. She kicked up a leg over Tissaia’s shoulders and adjusted her skirt, so it flowed over Tissaia’s form. It hid the majority of her from prying eyes. Yennefer might not care – as everyone was well aware - but she didn’t want her prudish companion withering into a ball of mortified nothingness.

 _Mmmm_. Perhaps not as straitlaced as she let on to be. She wondered if her remaining leg would give out with this delightful barrage. Tissaia was gripping Yennefer’s sides hard enough to leave bruises. It didn’t take long for her to peak, tense and shudder, pressing herself against Tissaia’s face with a moan. When Yennefer's orgasm had subsided, Tissaia went to withdraw from her skirts, but the other woman kept a grip on her.

“I think you made a wrong turn,” came the dark warning from above.

“Oh- oh um! _Sorry_!” Yennefer let out a breathy chuckle as the unfortunate bystander scampered off. Tissaia let out a breathless, nervous laugh against Yennefer’s thigh.

**_How long was he there?_ **

**_He couldn’t see you. Not specifically._ **

**_How long, Yennefer?_ **

**_Only a few seconds before I came all over your beautiful face. He was probably trying to figure out who was eating their heart out down there._** Yennefer could feel the exasperation creep through their connection. Tissaia nipped her thigh in retribution, enough to make her jump, before she pulled away. There was a beautiful flush that had spread across Yennefer’s cheeks to the swell of her breasts. A few stray curls were out of place, but nothing like Tissaia’s disheveled look.

“Oh, aren’t you a sight. And here we’re already late to meet the others for dinner.” Tissaia pursed her lips and started fretting with her dress. “ _Stop_. I would never let them scandalize you.” Yennefer smoothed down Tissaia’s hair until it looked more casual; possibly travel-wary. She made sure that everything sat properly with her attire, and when she was sure that no one would accuse them of anything _unseemly_ , Yennefer bent and deeply kissed Tissaia.

* * *

Ah, another ale. Perhaps this best be the last. Tissaia squinted at the mug in front of her, debating on what to do. She had nursed the last one for quite a while, but now it was fresh thanks to a certain raven-haired witch. The others let her drink (or not drink) as she see fit. They always had. Tissaia was almost always a one-and-done drinker. Sometimes, in the privacy of her chambers, she would partake in an extra glass or two of wine while pouring over a good book. Never much more, just in case any issues arose through the night.

Tonight, she had allowed herself to indulge. There were no students to disturb her. No army to worry about quite yet. This was a small town that didn’t mind magic, so there were no issues and unruly bar-fights. In fact, the tavern was loud with cheers and song. You could almost forget they were marching off to war. After a hearty dinner, while everything was still quiet, she had let Yennefer slip her a second ale. When the music started, a third. She stayed sitting with a handful of other female mages in the back corner. A little quieter. A little less handsy than what was going on elsewhere in the tavern. It was certainly not something she wanted to do every night, but maybe just tonight was fine. It was… _nice_. Something different.

Yennefer spent much of the evening with Triss, and Tissaia watched them fondly. Every so often the two would part, and Yennefer would make her way back to their table to see if Sabrina had figured out how to beat Coral at cards yet. Sometimes she would sit on the other side, sometimes beside Tissaia.

“Are you going to stay with us for a while longer?” Yennefer deposited another drink on the table and sat backwards on the bench, nudging her with a shoulder.

“As long as you like.” Yennefer gave her a pleased look and nodded at the offered cup. Tissaia bit her lip. She’d have to start declining soon; she wasn’t even done the last drink, for heaven’s sake! Wait, no. It wasn’t another ale. She took a sip. Ah, coffee. With something else mixed in. She frowned and turned her head to the other woman, who was still watching her and gave her a smirk.

“Are you sobering me up?”

“So you can keep up. I have no problem carrying you back to the tent, but I assumed you would be pleased if you could enjoy a party without one extreme or the other.”

“ _Not drinking_ is not an extreme, Yennefer,” she huffed. “I can enjoy a dry party, thank you!” The sorceress just gave her an innocent shrug and a wink.

“Yennefer! Stop bullying the Rectoress and come dance with us!”

 **Ooh, did you hear that? I’m bullying you. Perhaps you best reprimand me later, Rectoress.** Yennefer stood to answer her summons, but not before she concentrated some lewd imagery her way. Tissaia felt her cheeks warm, but before she could retort, Yennefer was gone again in a flurry of skirts and twirls. She pulled at her collar and gulped back the hot liquid before standing up and moving over a seat.

“Make room, girls.”

“Aye, now we’re talkin’! Hold on to ye belongins, ladies!" Coral was feverishly shuffling her deck, the smile of a fox gracing her lips. "If I don’t take ‘em, she will!"

* * *

“You _almost_ had her.”

“Don’t remind me. I should have known better.”

“Yes, well. If you were sober you would have probably realized she was cheating quite early.” Tissaia scowled and snatched one of the herb stalks that Yennefer was holding out to her. She chewed on it irritably, and went back to appraising the tent around her.

“Bah, I'm not that drunk. Besides, there's no game without a little cheating to be had. When Coral conjured a Queen of Hearts, how was I supposed to pull it from my own sleeve and call her out on it? I'd never be able to gamble in Aretuza again and Coral knew that. That's why she was so blatantly cheating.”

Yennefer had been standing across the tent, removing her earring but had frozen at Tissaia's admission.

“Wait - _you_ were cheating? The great, play-by-the-rules Rectoress of Aretuza was _cheating_. I can’t even. Who _are_ you?” Tissaia’s smile was coy as she sat on the end of Yennefer’s bed.

“Enough. Take off your clothes, Yennefer.” The younger mage stood up slowly, facing Tissaia. Her mantle hit the floor first, then her dress followed suit. Yennefer stepped out of it and ran her hands over her body before smiling, almost shyly. She approached Tissaia, but the Rectoress raised a hand to stop her.

“I _know_ you have a trunk. Where is it.” Yennefer’s mouth felt dry. She waved a hand to where it sat.

Tissaia slipped off the bed and grabbed the small box. She turned away and smiled. She could feel Yennefer craning her neck, trying to see what Tissaia was doing. A small flush graced her cheeks as she recognized a few things right off the bat. There were other things she made a note to ask about later, but finding what she was looking for, she snapped the box shut, dropped it, and kicked it back from where it came. She moved away from the foot of the bed, but motioned for Yennefer to take her place. Yennefer’s eyes were wide, watching Tissaia run her fingers along a leather strap.

“Hands on the foot of the bed.”

“Tissaia…”

“Yes, Yennefer?”

“Hm, nothing. Nothing at all.” And she walked over and bent over the foot, legs spread. Tissaia moved closer and ran her fingertips teasingly across Yennefer’s unmarred, perfectly-shaped ass.

 _Smack_.

Yennefer yelped, a high-pitch noise that melted into a husky moan.

 _Smack_.

“Please,” Yennefer panted, as Tissaia dragged her nails lightly along the welt that was already starting to form. Yennefer was practically quivering below her.

“Please, _what_?”

“A- a little lower?”

_Smack._

Yennefer’s breath began to hitch and she tried to press back against the other woman, who would have none of it. A few more, and Tissaia withdrew. Yennefer's pussy absolutely glistened. Tissaia could see it from where she stood.

“Turn. I want you to undress me.” Yennefer pushed herself off her elbows and shakily approached. Her breath came in short, aroused huffs, as her fingers fumbled at Tissaia’s dress clasps. Once the dress dropped to the ground, Tissaia pushed Yennefer's hands from her body and took a step away. “Lay down on the bed.” Yennefer chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully, then did as she was told.

“What now?” Tissaia quirked an eyebrow, grabbed a nearby chair and deposited herself into it. One leg came up and crossed the other, and she sat there regal, as though she wasn’t naked at all.

“Why, my dear, I’m going to watch you touch yourself.” There was a sharp intake from the bed, then a wide smile, and Yennefer adjusted herself so that Tissaia could see exactly what she was doing. She spread her legs, knees bent, and took no time to slip her fingers past her folds. Pleasure swept over her and the approving look on Tissaia’s face made it all the better.

Yennefer’s soft pants became louder and her fingers began to move more vigorously – a sure sign that she was close. Tissaia refrained from touching herself. She knew that her own arousal was slick between her legs. She stood up and moved closer, watching from the foot of the bed. She was reminded how gorgeous the young sorceress was as her back arched and her fingers stilled. They pressed against a swollen clit as she rode out the waves of pleasure that rippled through her body. When she was done, violet eyes opened and the two watched each other for a few long moments.

“Gods, let me touch you already.” Tissaia smiled. She walked around the side of the bed and climbed on, finally leaning in to kiss Yennefer. There was still the sweet flavor of ale lingering on her tongue.

“Yennefer?”

“Yes?”

“Have you charmed this tent with a muffling charm?” Yennefer’s mouth quirked into a smirk and she nodded. Tissaia cupped her face and brushed her lips against an ear.

“ _Good_ ,” she whispered, a shudder rippling through her in anticipation. “Because I want you to make me _fucking scream_.”

* * *

Tissaia woke up surprisingly well. No headache, no nausea, not overly exhausted. There was pleasure radiating from her – _oh_. Oh, that was nice.

A moan of satisfaction escaped her even before her eyes blinked their sleep away. There was a chuckle and a ‘sh’ as Yennefer released Tissaia’s nipple from her assault. A series of kisses trailed across her chest.

The sun was just starting to come up. There was a soft scuffle here, an exchange of words in the distance. Dark curls tickled her shoulders. She reached up and wove her fingers through them. If she could wake up like this every morning, she would trade her beloved Aretuzan chambers in a heartbeat. Yennefer dragged her teeth across her shoulder while a thigh ground between her own.

“Don’t tease me, you insufferable brat.” The thigh was gone and Tissaia temporarily regretted saying anything until she felt Yennefer’s hand snake down and slip between her legs. Her body moved against Yennefer’s fingers, silently begging for their attention. A thumb began to run circles along her clit as another two fingers pushed themselves into Tissaia. The Rectoress let out a content sigh and wrapped her arms tight around the gorgeous mage above her.

* * *

They traveled all day - walking for hours on end. There wasn’t much to Sodden when they arrived. A couple of huts and a series of walls that made up a keep. The majority of people there were refugees. There were no soldiers. It would be up to civilians and a handful of mages to keep Nilfgaard at bay. It was very busy, preparing for the upcoming battle. Packing, enchanting. Moving supplies. Tissaia had not worked so feverishly since she was an apprentice.

Though they did not speak, Tissaia stole glances at Yennefer now and then. It seemed as though she was not contributing, and she knew some of the others were beginning to mumble about her not putting in the same effort that they were.

**_Yennefer, you could at least try to look busy._ **

**_You all can expend your chaos on the eve of a battle - I'll pass, thanks._ **

Tissaia raised a brow. Yennefer had been snippy – more than usual – ever since she had found out that they were not taking the children and running. Tissaia watched her closer while keeping up to her work. _Ah, there it was._

Yennefer trading words with a young woman, then handing her something.

A small bag of conjured treats for a pair of young siblings to keep them out of trouble.

An adjustment to something that must have not been just right.

Heaven forbid Yennefer allow people to think she actually cared. She continued to watch the little favours that Yennefer conducted. Triss, more than once, subtly requested aid with something. She would receive it without even a huff, and off Yennefer would go again with not even a backward glance. Tissaia wondered what had transpired for the other girl to get to know Yennefer so well, that she knew how to not blow her apparent cover.

Yennefer began to brood more as the evening wore on. She was absent during dinner and spent the evening up in the walls of the keep. Tissaia let her be. Vilgefortz, unsurprisingly, brought her ale – as though she hadn’t had her fill the night before - and the two shared a couple of tales. He was definitely laying out feelers to see if he could persuade the Rectoress into his bed.

“Ah, she finally come back.” And as if he realized he was being dismissed, he bid her a good night and disappeared into another gaggle of drunken fools. “The ale will not disappoint!” she had called out to the other sorceress, holding up a mug for Yennefer. She didn’t know what she had been talking about with Triss, but whatever it was hadn’t lifted her doom and gloom any.

For once, they were able to have a serious, civil conversation about Yennefer's past without either losing their temper. Yennefer had such a ferocious darkness in her that it was a wonder there was any light at all. But when Yennefer teased her, a hint of it peeked out. Tissaia had seen it other times, of course, especially lately, but soon the conversation turned again. Yennefer wasn’t happy – not truly happy, anyway. No matter what they had shared, it wasn’t enough. And when Yennefer said that life had no more to give, a lump formed in Tissaia’s throat and she didn’t know what to say. _Grab her and kiss her_ , the ale prompted, but the sting of Yennefer’s words sat heavy in her chest.

“You still have so much left to give,” Tissaia said, voice breaking. She pushed herself from where she had been leaning and walked off then. She did not try to find Yennefer again that night - did not try to reach out to her. She needed time to clear her head, and maybe in the morning she would try to talk again with her.

* * *

When Tissaia woke to the sound of an explosion, she instantly regretted the decision to wait. Yennefer was screaming for everyone to wake up and move. Another ball of flame. Another diversion. She forced herself to move as well, and helped situate everyone to where they needed to be.

“Reserve your chaos.” _Reserve your chaos?_ she repeated in her head, flabbergasted. Not "stay safe", or "we'll see each other soon"? There were a few other things that flitted through her mind, but she couldn't believe that her last words before a battle were those. Tissaia accompanied Triss. She needed her to slow the army down, but the spell was one that would not sit well with a healer. Yennefer was taking command from the tower, telepathically.

Interesting. It wasn’t something she had expected, but it was certainly appreciated. To connect to everyone and broadcast was a feat in itself. It was not something usually done until _at least_ a century of casting. Any of the mages with them would know that, and Tissaia wondered what kind of opinion the others would garner for Yennefer afterwards. She was commanding, encouraging and smart with her orders. Not a hint of smugness or her typical snide remarks.

**_Tissaia, can you hear me?_ **

**_Tissaia!_ **

_Do not stop,_ she told herself. Tissaia was already deep into the forest, seeking out her old student. Asking her to return. Fringilla gave her just as much attitude as Yennefer always did, but it wasn’t the same. When Yennefer baited her, Tissaia would get frustrated because it was always a big act, whether Yennefer realized it or not. Oh, Yennefer had done some questionable things over the years, but what mage hadn’t? Stregobor had murdered innocent babies, for goodness sake, and still was head of the Brotherhood and well respected. No, Yennefer’s callous front was to protect herself. It always had been.

Fringilla, on the other hand, was spoiled chit with absolutely no boundaries. There would be no repentance from her, and Tissaia's wasted time only filled her with hatred and agitation. Her final request for Fringilla to “return to Aretuza” felt forced, and she wondered if her feelings on the matter were transparent.

When a handful of dimeritium was thrown in her face, she involuntarily inhaled. It was instantly reactive and the worst kind of feeling that Tissaia had ever experienced. What made matters worse, was that the battle was turning and she could hear Yennefer’s distress as the other mages began to fall. Tissaia knew what it was like to feel another mage die, and it was why telepathic connections in battle were made with extreme caution. The trauma from it could ruin a mage.

She fell to her knees, body becoming weak, and her consciousness beginning to fade. Her chaos gave a few desperate sputters, but then it was gone, leaving her feeling empty. Only through her ears could Tissaia hear the sounds of battle in the distance. The final disconnect between her and Yennefer - a constant that she hadn’t realized they kept – was her final link, snapped. It was like submerging under water. She was drowning. She was _dying_.

And then everything went silent.

* * *

**_TISSAIA. I need you._ **

Her chaos flickered to life as Yennefer pushed through whatever magic or anti-magic that should have killed her, or at least kept her completely restricted. She tried to reach out, but found that she didn’t have it in her. She needed to find Yennefer. She should never have left her. Why did she keep leaving her?

When she reached Sodden, a slow and painful process, the gates were blown open. There were no more battle cries, just screams of pain and sorrow. They had held most of the enemy forces back, but it looked like the place had burned from the inside out. Nilfgaard was approaching, and though she could stall one or two soldiers here and there, her magic was unpredictable and draining.

It was Yennefer who found her. In that moment, she was so thankful that it didn’t matter that soldiers were closing in. It didn’t matter that she was dying. She had thought that her long life was finally over, and her only regret was that she didn't get to hold the girl one last time. There was so, so many other things she wanted to tell her. If she could have held on another minute, she would have. Instead, she begged Yennefer. Begged her to let her chaos free. If it was the last thing she saw, it would be enough. She had been the one who had taught her to restrict herself. To keep herself safe and unseen. It was time for her to be free. To finally know what her chaos was capable of.

And then Yennefer was gone. Gone to do what she was told. And Tissaia’s heart broke for her, and for them.

Yennefer’s fingers glowed. The flames of Sodden receded. The very air around them held its breath, and every hair on her body stood up in warning.

It was unbelievable - borderline terrifying. She wondered how her life would end. Would it be a soldier’s sword in her back, or Yennefer’s chaos engulfing her? Something selfish in her hoped that it was Yennefer. It would be okay, because it was her. And then all of Yennefer’s sorrow and rage flowed from her in a great flame, and though the fire itself did not touch Tissaia, the anguish did. Lifetimes of suffering ignited the Nilfgaardians and anything else in its path. Her haunted scream echoed through the battlefield, even louder than the roar of chaos.

Her true potential was more beautiful and more terrifying than she had ever imagined.

But now, she couldn't see Yennefer. Her stomach sank as she began to call for her, search for her.

All magic had a price.

So what was the cost?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Alright! Last chapter! I feel like there are lots of snippets and fluff in this chapter, and I struggled with the ending. Which is sad, because literally the other chapters "could have" ended at where they were and I had zero problems finishing them off. It was always me adding to the middle. Maybe it because the show had events that I had already laid out as Chapter guides, or maybe my three year old has just gotten more rambunctious in a matter of one or two days. I'm literally hiding in the bathroom, writing this A/N so I can finally hit post. Editing had to be done during Jeopardy, a convo, and loud talking.

The struggle has been real the last few days, so thank you for all the reviews that made me perk up and keep focused.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

* * *

“Yennefer?” She couldn’t see her. Couldn’t feel her. “YENNEFER!” Tissaia stumbled over to where the other sorceress had stood, frantically pushing through ash and debris to make sure that there wasn’t a pile of robes and bones. Nothing. There was nothing. Thank the Gods.

But where was she? She couldn’t possibly be okay. Who was going to help her? Tissaia forced herself to continue towards what was left of Sodden. Everything was spinning, but she couldn’t rest - not yet. Not when she didn’t know where Yennefer had gone. 

She didn't remember losing consciousness, but must have. Tissaia woke up in a much more comfortable way than expected. The light in the room seemed too bright and her whole body ached. She could barely feel the twitch of chaos within her.

“Rectoress? Rectoress, it’s me, Triss. How are you feeling?”

“Yennefer?” Tissaia’s eyes focused. She was in her own chambers. “Ah, Triss.” Pause. “Your throat…” A hand came up to touch it in response, along with a weak smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“It’s okay, it’s healing. How are you feeling? You’ve been out for a couple of weeks.”

“Weeks? What happened? Who all perished? Has anyone found Yennefer?”

“Shh.” Triss pulled up a chair and sat beside the Rectoress. “If you promise to eat this, I will fill you in what is happening.” Tissaia frowned.

“I’m not hungry.”

“No eating, no information.” With a scowl, Tissaia reached for the soup but Triss pulled it away. “You’re too weak to hold it yourself.”

“ _Fine_.” She obediently opened her mouth and the healer smiled as she gave her a small spoonful. Not wanting to overdo it, she paused for a minute before offering another.

“As I’m sure you’re aware, you were poisoned with dimeritium. It should almost be out of your system, but you may notice that you’re a bit weak for the next few days. You should be able to do a little bit of magic, but try to reserve your strength **.”**

Another spoonful.

“We’re missing about half of what we went with. Nilfgaard was pushed back, but Sodden burned. Temeria’s army is holding the pass and helping rebuild what they can. About eight of us are back in Aretuza, more or less in one piece. Sabrina had the least to recover from physically, but she isn’t doing well mentally. Maybe if you could talk to her later? I think it would do her really well.”

“Of course. What about Yennefer?” Triss studied her with interest and offered another bite. Tissaia sat with her lips pressed firmly together in response.

“...Yennefer is fine. She's the one that brought us all back to Aretuza.”

“How is that possible? I watched her. She drained herself. Triss, _I_ _watched her_ …” Tissaia could feel her hands begin to shake. She couldn’t be _okay_. Triss was just saying what she wanted to hear.

“I know. I saw it from the gates.” Triss put the soup on the side table and placed her hand over Tissaia’s, squeezing it as a comforting gesture. “I don’t know what to say. I can hardly believe it either, but she somehow got us all back on top of it all. _You_ included.” Tissaia was studying the healer and could see that she was holding something back.

“But?”

“Ah, there were some complications. She'll be fine, but might need a good chat too. I’m sure we all could,” she added quietly. Then brightening, she clapped her hands against her knees and smiled as though nothing was wrong. “She’ll be down in a meeting with the Brotherhood right now, probably ripping them a new one again.”

“Pardon? She’s where?” Triss laughed and the smile that followed finally reached her eyes, causing the corners to crinkle mischievously.

“I know, right? Didn't want anything to do with Aretuza, but decided she had to be the one to do all of your work. Well. Almost all of your work. Maybe just the part where she degrades the Brotherhood. Oh, and she’s taken over most of your classes. Sabrina and I have been trying to help with your paperwork, but I’m afraid you’ll still have a lot to catch up on when you can.”

“Help me up. I need to see her.” Triss quirked an eyebrow, ignoring Tissaia’s request.

“Interesting how the two of you could barely stand each other for the better part of a century.” Despite the way her lips thinned disapprovingly as Tissaia tried to push herself up, Triss did concede and helped the Rectoress to her feet. She even helped her dress, which seemed to take forever. When they were done, Tissaia even let the other woman help her walk so that maybe – just maybe - they could get to where they were going _before_ nightfall. It was all very frustrating.

The meeting hall was only a floor down, but it felt like ages to get there. They stopped just outside to listen to the proceedings.

“I don’t think I need to defend myself _again_. If you don’t start doing _your_ damn jobs and figure out a solution, I will – _one way or another_.”

“The direct portal between the battlefield and Aretuza has put the whole Chapter in a precarious position and in danger of direct repercussions from Nilfgaard.”

“We were _defending_ against a march. Vilgefortz was one of yours. And if he hadn’t been such a bloody snake, I wouldn’t have had to portal what was left of us. We wouldn’t be down over a _dozen_ mages.”

“There is absolutely no need for you to be here. You have no self-control. No allegiance to anyone or anything other than yourself. No valid contribution, and quite frankly, you’re a danger to anyone within a 10 mile vicinity. Including _yourself_.” Tissaia bit her cheek and inwardly groaned. Would Artorious try to motion an exile against Yennefer?

“Oh, I see you’ve decided to pipe in. Wonderful. Yes, let’s discuss how dangerous fire magic is. By the way, how is your niece, Artorious? Flinging dimeritium in anyone’s faces lately? Any particular stunning feats in _necromancy_? At least I was part of something,” she snapped. “Or maybe I was supposed to just let the rest of my companions burn? It was a battle. It was us or them. So _sorry_ I didn’t make your life easier by dying. You want to put someone on trial? Look at your own ranks before you turn on someone trying to protect Aretuza!”

“This is getting us nowhere. What of the Rectoress? We need to discuss her replacement. We appreciate you and your companions pitching in, but there _must_ be figurehead to take her spot in these meetings.”

“There is no need for a replacement,” Tissaia finally interjected from the doorway. Heads swivelled so quickly that she wondered if their necks would be sore. A moment of relief darted across Stregobor’s face. He looked exhausted, and Tissaia wondered if it was Artorious or Yennefer or both who had worn him down. “I assure you I will be just fine. If I may, I will use the girls for a little longer until I am able to return to my role in its full capacity.” Yennefer didn’t look over at her, but Tissaia could see the corner of her mouth quirk up. Had she known that Tissaia was here all along?

“I think it wise to leave this meeting as is, for now,” Stregobor announced. “We will allow the Rectoress some extra time to gain her strength, and then reconvene in a week’s time. Until then, we will wait and see what unfolds.” The chamber doors flung open and the small congregation filed out. Many mages stopped to welcome Tissaia back from the dead, some candid and some simply for courtesy’s sake. Artorious muttered something in Stregobor’s ear before glowering across the table, then stalked out of the room without another word. The Brotherhood leader gave her a nod on his way out. If he was even a little bit pleased to see her, Yennefer must have been an absolute nightmare.

“Triss, could you leave us? I need to speak to Yennefer.” With another curious glance, and a questioning eyebrow aimed at her friend, Triss curtsied her leave and closed the large double doors behind her.

When the two of them were alone, the older woman used the table as a crutch to approach Yennefer, who grabbed her arm to steady her. Tissaia studied her face.

“Your eyes.”

“I’ve been blind since Sodden. Well, I shouldn’t say that. Triss has healed them physically. She also helped me learn how to use my chaos to see shapes and magical signatures. I can’t see properly though.” Tissaia’s throat constricted.

“Ah. We can fix that. We just need time. But we can fix it.” Shaky fingers brushed across Yennefer’s brow and down her cheek. “Oh Yennefer, I thought I had lost you.”

“Yet I’m the one who peeled you off the ground.”

“Where did you go? Right after?” There was a long silence.

“I – it was too much. I needed to heal. I left. I left, but then I realized that everyone still needed help. That you needed help. So I came back. Brought everyone here.”

Their foreheads touched, and Tissaia could feel the uneasy tremors and hear the short intakes of breath as Yennefer gripped her forearms. Wetness threatened to spill over her eyelashes, but they held on.

“I thought you were going to die, Tissaia. You’ve been unconscious for _weeks_. I’ve been arguing with those imbeciles for _weeks,_ not knowing if they were going to give me the boot before you came to. I honestly thought I was going to have to start that coup you always worry about.” Tissaia chuckled at the last part before letting out a long sigh.

“Forgive me. I knew it was a dangerous battle, but I never thought it would come to that. That it would require you to expend yourself so thoroughly. I don’t think I truly believed that we could lose. That we would lose so many gifted mages. I thought-“

“Shhh. There is no use in what-ifs. We did what we could and now it’s over. Let’s try to avoid any battles for a little bit though, yeah?”

* * *

That night, Tissaia woke with a unpleasant start. Yennefer had insisted on returning to her own chambers following dinner in the hall, and Tissaia had been too weak to connect with her telepathically before, during or after. Now the connection between them flared to life, filled with Yennefer’s anguished cry.

**_Yennefer? What is going on?_ **

**_I’m sorry!_** she continued. **_I’m so sorry. I killed all of them. So many._ **Tissaia’s eyes widened. Yennefer was having a nightmare about Sodden. Of course she was – how could she not?

**_Yennefer, can you hear me?_ **

**_Tissaia?_** The reply was groggy. Perfect, she was awake now.

**_Yennefer, can you come to me? I can’t portal and I’m still too weak to be wandering about._ **

**_What? Why? Is everything okay?_ **

**_You were having a nightmare. You broadcast it._ **

**_Oh. Oh no. The others are going to kill me._ **

**_Is this normal?_ **

**_It has been. I’m sorry to have woken you. It usually doesn’t happen more than once._ **

**_It doesn’t matter. Why won’t you come to me?_ **

**_You’re still healing._ **

**_Being together will be good for us both. If you do not wish to come though, I will not force you._ **

There was silence then, and Tissaia thought for a moment that Yennefer had brushed her off. Then, the waver of portal magic appeared across the room and in trod a sleepy Yennefer. There were bags under her eyes and her cheeks were blotchy. It was obvious that she had tried to rub away tears before coming. She made to move toward the chair that had made a temporary home beside the bed, but with an incredulous cough from Tissaia, paused.

Tissaia scooted back to make room and lifted the sheets. Yennefer hesitated, but crawled in and Tissaia guided her to lay in the nook of her arm.

“I am not broken,” Tissaia coaxed. “Just tired. Weak. It will not hurt me for you to lay so close. Honestly, it can only help.” Yennefer hummed in response and nestled in closer, throwing an arm around Tissaia’s small frame. “We’re safe here,” she added, pressing a kiss against her hair.

“Yes,” came the soft reply – almost _too_ soft to be Yennefer. Whatever tension was left in the girl drained away, and so quiet that Tissaia could barely hear her, she sleepily murmured: “We are safe. And we are together. Nothing else matters.” The admission surprised Tissaia - pleased her - and she felt her own concern fade away and her eyes drift shut.

* * *

Tissaia found herself gravitating back towards a routine by the next day. She puttered around and poked at small errands. Hobbled down to her office to do a little bit of paperwork. Cast a few spells. Took meals when one of the girls hunted her down. Researched with Triss the best way to give Yennefer back her normal sight. Thankfully, it didn’t take long for her to be able to cast basic spells and not have them feel wrong and over-draining. Weeks of unconscious healing had probably helped with that.

It was the end of the week when the three girls sat together with Tissaia in her office, mulling over what to do next. The next Chapter meeting would be coming up soon, and though the four of them could go and provide a united front, it wouldn’t do much without an actual plan.

“I think researching what we can on necromancy is important. Those fireballs were pure life force – I could feel it. It took everything I had for us not to get pummelled by them. I still don’t know how I woke up in time to counter it. Too close to sheer dumb luck for my liking.” Yennefer reached forward and plucked a grape from her plate, chewing thoughtfully.

“I think we really need to figure out what the enemy has for weapons before we go running in again. I don’t think I could do with those… things… again. I- I hurt a lot of people. I stabbed you Yennefer.” Sabrina shuddered at the memory, and the others shot her consoling looks.

“ _You_ did not stab me. Are you still having nightmares?” Sabrina didn’t need to answer Yennefer’s question. It was obvious she was.

“I believe I have something that will allow you a dreamless sleep,” Tissaia offered gently.

“I have been giving her the sleeping draught made from mandrake root. Is there something that may be a bit better?”

“Hm,” Tissaia replied, standing and moving to rummage through her cabinets near the back. “It’s an altered version, and it’s often frowned upon, to be honest. If it’s mixed improperly, the results can be quite the headache to severe poisoning. From the stramonium. But-“ she came back and handed a small bottle with a dropper to Sabrina. “ _I_ do not mix potions wrong. Take two drops with your dinner and no more, or you will have quite the evening ahead of you. Not necessarily a pleasant one. And yes, Triss,” Tissaia added towards the healer who was practically ready to tear the bottle away for observation. “I would be more than happy to teach you how to bottle this concoction.”

“Is that what you’ve been taking, Yen?”

“Huh?” Yennefer hadn’t been paying mind to the whole exchange, but now realized that she was being asked a direct question.

“Your nightmares. They were so bad they would wake us all up. But for the last few nights there hasn’t been a peep from you.” There was a long silence where Yennefer and Tissaia pointedly did not look at each other.

“Oh,” came the teasing voice of Triss, who had been watching the exchange. “Not enough room in your bed for Sabrina to take solace as well?” Sabrina was already choking on her drink before the two had fully comprehended what had been said.

“Pardon?” Both replied in unison, not entirely convincing. She saw Triss shoot a wink at Sabrina before levelling a look at the two of them.

“Pardon, Yen? Where did you pick up such impeccable manners all of a sudden? Well, it’s getting late. I think we should head out, don’t you think?” Sabrina nodded quickly and grabbed her plate, though a hint of a smile tugged at the edge of her mouth. Tissaia sat with a deadpan stare on her face, whereas Yennefer started laughing as soon as the girls were out of the room.

“ _Busted_.”

“This isn’t funny. I don’t know what would be so obvious.”

The two of them bickered all the way back to their chambers.

Their chambers.

Tissaia pursed her lips and huffed.

They were _not_ obvious!

* * *

The Chapter meeting came quicker than anyone was ready for, and it was not going well. If the two walking headaches in front of her thought that she was going to jump on the bandwagon to condemn Yennefer, they were sorely mistaken.

“She will _not_ be leaving. I will also be keeping Triss and Sabrina here part time to help with things around the school.”

“Triss and Sabrina are fine to stay as long as they still maintain their court duties. There is no reason for Yennefer to be here. If she would like a court assignment again, we can arrange that. If she would like to wander off and stay out of trouble, that would suffice as well.”

“There _is_ reason for her to stay. I will not have you send her away because it’s convenient for you. Yennefer has done just as much for this war, if not more, than anyone. And she’s one of the most talented mages of her era.”

“She _cannot_ be controlled,” Stregobor countered, matter-of-factly as though Yennefer wasn’t standing there absolutely seething. “And you would be wise to acknowledge that. Without control, she is _not_ suited to be hired on as one of your teachers. Not to mention that whenever Yennefer is around, you yourself become far less…” he motioned to her entire being, “agreeable.”

“As Rectoress, if I demand something within reason, it cannot be argued or denied. Yennefer stays by my side in Aretuza. It is _not_ up for debate.”

“Have you gone absolutely mad?” Artorious snapped. “This is beyond favoritism.” The meeting fell into argument. Some of the room snapped back and forth, either agreeing or disagreeing. Others muttered between themselves. Some of the resident mages piped up that Yennefer hadn’t poisoned, inebriated or strangled any students so far. Stregobor and Tissaia glared at each other, each willing the other to back down.

“That’s _enough_.” Stregobor finally said, exasperated. He held up both hands, trying to quiet the room. It worked for the most part. “This isn’t about hiring on in Aretuza. It has nothing to do with training the girls. It isn’t even about the Chapter. You’re right, Tissaia, it is not within our rights to deny.”

She could feel the majority of eyes turn to her for a response. Yennefer and Artorious, forever oil and vinegar and never in agreeance, were both making the same, confused expression. Oh, if only Yennefer could see them properly. Tissaia stood with her lips tight, unmoving and unanswering under Stregobor’s scrutiny.

“You’re in love with the girl, aren’t you? And I suspect that you have been for a long time.” And just like that, a pin drop could have been heard. Whatever whispered side conversation that were happening behind them cut short.

“She stays with me.”

Triss looked like a cat who had just got the cream. Sabrina mirrored a couple of other mages who looked as though they had overheard something they shouldn’t. Some looked smug, like Stregobor. A couple others, including Yennefer, looked as though they had just been dealt the surprise of the century.

“Granted. Yennefer of Vengerberg may stay in Aretuza. As there are no major movements regarding to the war, we will wait and discuss it further at a time that requires a further decision. This meeting is adjourned.” And though the meeting was over, the room exploded.

* * *

Tissaia was sitting in her chair, reading a book, when there was a knock on the door. It opened to reveal Yennefer carrying a tray piled with food.

“Hope you’re hungry!” Yennefer grinned. “I stopped by the kitchen and asked for a meal for two. They got all excited. When _I_ ask for food, they give me stale bread and whatever scraps they can muster. When they _think_ I’m feeding you, which wasn’t wrong, mind you, well I get a damn feast.”

“I do not get scraps, but I certainly do not get _that_.”

“Ah, they must be having a field day with the gossip then. That would explain all the giggles.” Standing in front of the hearth, Yennefer motioned at the floor. “Do you want to sit on the rug and share this, then? I guess I should have asked before procuring it.” Tissaia smiled and shut her book.

“That would be lovely. But come here first.” Yennefer put down the food and cast a charm to preserve it, before approaching Tissaia, who motioned for her to sit at her feet and crane her head back. “I’ve been waiting for you to come see me all afternoon. Are you ready?” Yennefer’s eyes widened as she tilted her head up at Tissaia and gave a slight nod. Tissaia murmured the spell she had been studying and practicing nonstop, until tendrils of magic poured from her fingers and splayed across Yennefer’s cheeks and up into her eyes. It took the better part of an hour, Tissaia’s chaos trickling through and around them before the unseeing look slowly faded from Yennefer. She kept going until the younger mage let out a long breath of relief and broke into a huge smile.

“Ah, I can see you again. And just as well as I could before. You’ve outdone yourself again, Rectoress.” Yennefer’s sat up on her knees and wiped away a bead of sweat from Tissaia’s brow. Hands came up and ran along Tissaia’s face, as if she had never seen her before. “Every time I see you, I feel like I have forgotten how breathtaking you are.” Tissaia smiled almost shyly at the compliment before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on Yennefer’s lips.

They moved and sat on the rug beside one another and shared the dinner that Yennefer had brought. They laughed and told stories about other mages or happenings from the last century. Yennefer ended up settling down and laying her head in Tissaia’s lap. Tissaia brushed her raven locks with her fingers so that they flowed down over her other leg, and then every so often would help herself to a piece of fruit and offer one to Yennefer in kind. Yennefer would purposely overtake whatever was offered so that she could teasingly drag her lips over Tissaia’s fingers, and Tissaia would respond with a tight, pleased smile.

Their conversation moved to the surge of gossip ripping through Aretuza, and Tissaia explained the different reactions, with Yennefer lamenting that she had not quite been able to see them.

“And here you thought I was going to start the riot.”

“No, I always knew you’d be the cause of it. Not necessarily start it.”

“Tissaia?”

“Yes?”

“How much truth is in what Stregobor said?” Ah, so it was finally time to talk about that. Tissaia considered changing the subject, but Yennefer was staring up at her with every ounce of her heart upon her face. Tissaia finished what she was chewing slowly, thoughtful.

“You’ve always wanted love, Yennefer. To the point that you’ve lived decades of misery, it seems. You’ve always wanted to be needed. You have a small army of broken hearts behind you and it still was not enough. Triss, your best friend? She absolutely adores you. That Witcher would have followed you to the ends of the Earth. What makes you think you have gone through life without?”

“Triss is like a sister to me. She- we, can part ways without aching for the other one. We can go years without talking, meet up, act like we were never apart, and do it all over. I adore Triss, truly, but I don’t _love_ her. Not like that. And the others – they didn’t really know me. They loved my power. They loved my body. They loved glimpses and pieces and anything that was convenient.”

“I think what you’ve been looking for is for someone to love you that you can love in return. Truly, I think there comes a time that that’s all any of us want.” The two of them lay silently for a moment, Tissaia’s fingers still combing through tresses on her lap while studying the girl beneath her. “I was so angry with you the night before the battle. You were so, _so_ miserable and I was so angry that I wasn’t that person for you. It wasn’t until later that I realized that I never told you how I feel, so how could I be? Why would you open your heart so easily on a gamble?” Yennefer’s eyebrows had shot up, a look of almost-horror crossing her face. So she hadn’t realized what had happened after all. Tissaia almost laughed.

Yennefer looked like she was about to say something, but Tissaia just shook her head. “No, let me finish. I’m sorry it took so long. I’m sorry I ever sent you away. I’m sorry we fought so much. And I’m sorry for almost getting us killed before I told you how I feel. Yennefer. I love you. I always have, I think. Forgive me for guarding my heart. I fear the only thing that could be worse than never being loved, is trying to nurse a broken heart. A true broken heart.”

“I’m not sure that’s true.”

“Mm, I could have lived a millennium occasionally lamenting the fact that I never found someone I could love so fiercely and with my entire being. The very thought of losing you makes me irrational. Sometimes I think, ‘what if something happens to Yennefer?' Not so unlike when I thought you had perished at Sodden. Sometimes, if I think about losing you, I imagine that shortly after I will just cease to be. I’ll drift away in my sleep from a broken heart. That is, if I don’t recklessly run in and perish with you.”

There were tears after that. Tears and laughter and kisses peppered all over each other’s faces and necks. They undressed one another slowly, exploring as if it was the first time.

At some point, they had pulled all of the pillows from the room onto the floor and lay reclined into them. Yennefer spent a delightful amount of time exploring and questioning every mark and blemish with her mouth.

“And this one?” Yennefer kissed a scar along Tissaia’s shoulder. Tissaia began to laugh.

“That one is from you, love.” Confusion etched across Yennefer’s face, but she smiled lopsidedly, caught up in Tissaia’s good humour. “I did not dodge that lightning as well as I pretended I did.”

“Oh God, I-“

“Don’t even. I was so proud of you, but if you tell anyone, I’ll deny it until my last breath.”

“Do others know that there’s a sadistic little savage tucked inside of this adorable body? Or do you reserve it just for me?” Yennefer’s leg slid between Tissaia's thighs and rocked against her. It felt delightful, an excited anticipation building up. It had felt like forever since they had last been intimate like this, and she couldn't get enough.

“If people knew how similar we actually are, I’d be fired.” Yennefer laughed against her ear before drawing a lobe between her teeth. She nipped and suckled down her neck, relishing in how Tissaia tipped her head back further and let out little sighs of pleasure.

“You sound _really_ upset.”

“Yes - absolutely beside myself with worry.” She wrapped her arms around Yennefer’s neck, holding her close. Yennefer reached one hand down and replaced the pressure from her thigh with a finger. She teased Tissaia’s opening with the pad, pushing it in just slightly, then withdrawing. Even though the touch was light and was meant to be teasing, the moan from Tissaia encouraged her to do it again and again.

“We’d have to live a life on the road.”

“We would persevere.”

“We’d have to sell quick-fixes and house-nap from the rich.”

“We would do what we must.”

“The orgies would keep you up at night.” She thought she would get reprimanded by now, but instead Tissaia wriggled her hips and smirked.

“As long as you break me in with a couple threesomes first.”

“Excuse me?” Tissaia laughed then.

“I will never get fired. _Obviously_.”

“And you called _me_ a brat.” Despite the pout on Yennefer’s face, she didn’t stop, and slid her slick finger up to circle Tissaia’s clit. Her mouth latched onto a curve in her neck, and suckled hard enough to leave a love-bite. Nails raked across her shoulders in response.

“Gods, that feels exquisite. Don’t stop.” The woman was moaning and arching and gods – she was beautiful.

“Tissaia?”

“Yes?”

“I want to watch you. Like you watched me.” The Rectoress practically purred against her.

“I refuse to share you, but other than that, I’m not sure if there is anything that I would deny you.” Yennefer released her, then conjured her little box of surprises.

“There’s something I’d like you to try.” She brought out a small, cylinder-shaped object. She murmured something – an enchantment - and it sprang to life, humming and bouncing around in her hand. Moving to lay beside her lover, Yennefer held out the small contraption to Tissaia, whose face was brimming with curiosity. A furious blush crept up her cheeks as she took it.

“Touch yourself with it.” Her voice was low, almost broken, and her breathing had quickened just a touch. They didn’t tear their eyes away from each other, but Tissaia did inhale sharply and bit her lip as she dragged the toy across an inner thigh.

Yennefer, oh so slowly it seemed, leaned in and captured Tissaia’s lips in a searing kiss. Tissaia did not miss the hand that crept along her thigh and encouraged her to move the object in between her lips and along a most sensitive bundle of nerves.

Tissaia's toes instantly curled and she tore away from Yennefer with a sharp intake of breath. She readjusted the toy so that it wasn’t entirely overpowering, then sank back into the pillows and moaned.

She tried to relax, but it was a losing battle. It felt like everything in her was simultaneously tensing and releasing. Yennefer was absolutely devouring her with her eyes, licking her lips, touching her breasts and weaving down between her legs with her own hand. Tissaia was fairly sure a whimper escaped one of them. Who though, she wasn’t entirely sure.

It was a different sort of climax when it came. Her whole body was alight and aware, and she briefly wondered if she was shaking. Her orgasm built to a point it was almost unbearable. With a cry and a buck of her hips, she felt familiar waves of pleasure plough through her body. She tore the toy from herself, but a hand caught hers and suddenly a body was pressed very close.

“Not yet.” And then the toy was back from where it came. Yennefer had obviously had her share of experience with it, for she seemed to know exactly how and where to push it to send Tissaia spiralling back out of control. She grabbed for the girl and held on as though she was drowning.

Maybe she was dying. Maybe she had already died at some point.

But she was reminded that she was very much alive when she felt Yennefer’s fingers push into her. They did not move, just filled her. And soon another orgasm was washing over her, a warmth releasing onto the hand pressed up against her. This time she did rip the toy out of Yennefer’s hand and lay there for a moment, catching her breath. Yennefer reached over to take it away, but Tissaia put it out of reach and gave the woman beside her a long, flat look.

“You are not taking this before I see exactly what it does to you.” A lazy, satisfied smile slowly spread across Yennefer’s face, and she brought Tissaia’s fingers to her lips.

“Oh, if it’s anything like what I just watched, I think you will be _quite_ pleased.” 

* * *

When Tissaia woke, they were in her bed. She couldn’t remember if they had crawled up here together, or if perhaps Yennefer had moved her after they fell asleep by the fire. She could feel Yennefer pressed against her back. A hand crept up her belly until it cupped a breast, and Tissaia half-laughed, and half-groaned. The girl was insatiable.

“Good morning,” she muttered with a smile, moving Yennefer’s hand to her stomach and entwining their fingers. Yennefer didn’t answer right away, and they continued to lay in comfortable silence.

“Hey - Tissaia?”

“Yes?”

“I love you,” she finally answered. “So much. I hope you know that.” Tissaia brought their hands up and pressed a kiss against the younger woman’s. “I also hope you know that I will do whatever I need to, to stay by your side.” She paused. “I know you’ve already said that I can stay, to a whole Chapter even, but would you say it again? Just to me?”

“Oh, Yennefer.” Tissaia rolled over then and kissed her softly before she pulled away. She ran her fingers tenderly along her jaw. “You don’t _need_ to do anything. There will always be a place for you by my side. I promise.”

The two of them spent most of the morning lazing around, doing whatever they desired. When they made their way down to the kitchens, the staff once again loaded them with food and winks and smiles before sending them on their way. They walked through the gardens, visited the hot springs, then went into town for an early supper. Tissaia smiled as she watched Yennefer pick out a new set of boots. When she was sure that the girl had found what she wanted, she cut in to pay the tanner.

“I can afford my own boots.”

“I am well aware; however, I just realized that I've never bought you anything. I want to.” She finished handing the tanner enough for the boots, and a little extra as thanks.

“Did I not live in Aretuza without paying a cent of tuition?”

“Aretuza paid for your education. It paid for the rags that you wore. It paid for the food that you ate. It paid for the herbs that you stole – oh yes, I _know_ you pilfered my garden. Point is, _I_ wanted to buy you something nice. Those boots are practical and will last you a good while. Every time you put them on you can think of me.”

Yennefer stopped to stare at Tissaia, who hadn’t stopped with her, and just kept wandering ahead through the town square. She turned and smirked and the younger sorceress. “Come along, piglet, we haven’t got all day.”

“Really? Piglet? Even now? Tissaia? Tissaia!” The Rectoress did not say anything in return, and kept walking, now far enough ahead that Yennefer had to job to keep up. Though the Rectoress didn't turn around, the closer Yennefer got, the more she could tell the other woman was suppressing a laugh.

* * *

Triss knocked and entered Tissaia’s chambers later that evening. The four of them had made a ritual of taking tea in Tissaia’s office on the evening before the start of a new week. Sabrina had been unable to make it, and the other two had not appeared. When she entered, Tissaia was sitting comfortably on the hearth rug, back against her armchair. Her book was in one hand, freshly shut, while the other hand was very gently running through Yennefer’s tangle of curls.

“I lost track of time. We can have tea here, if you would like.”

“Are you sure? We can always reschedule.”

“No, if you have no other obligations, I am very much up some extra company. Besides, you never know when time will no longer allow us all to meet like this.” Triss’ face lit up and she approached, carefully placing her tray down on the rug. Sitting cross-legged, she took a moment to enjoy the warmth of the fire and the gentle atmosphere of the room.

“Love, are you going to wake up?” Yennefer murmured something back, incoherent. She was laying on her side, curled into a pillow with her head turned up against Tissaia’s lap. Her eyes were shut and a sleepy smile graced her features.

“How very domestic,” Triss teased, pouring a cup for each of them and putting the third aside in case her friend was to wake. “And how rare for mages to find companionship with one another. I think it’s absolutely wonderful." Tissaia hummed thoughtfully, and the there was a comfortable pause as the two of them fondly watched Yennefer sleep. Tissaia took a long sip of her tea before placing it down and helping herself to a biscuit.

“I heard the most wonderful rumour that your work on alternative mandrake uses was being published. I would like to know all about it.” The two of them spoke of their research until Yennefer woke to join them. As Tissaia listened to the two girls banter playfully on how they met in the first place, she felt a smile grace her lips.

Yes, how wonderful it was to love and be loved.

_-fin-_


End file.
